Does it ever feel like all the good ones are already taken? And the guys you meet just aren’t relationship material? Or when you meet someone you do like, he’s just not that into you?
A lot of good men are already married. But, there are plenty of other great guys still out there. But, if you can’t seem to find one, it might mean at some level — you’re not quite ready for love.
It’s hard to believe, I know. Everyone around you is pairing up and settling down. And you don’t want to get left behind. But, there may be a part of you that is holding back.
Take this simple quiz* to find out…
Are You Ready for Love?
Do you have relationships with men who:
a. want to marry you after 6 to 16 months? (0 points)
b. want to marry you at first, but then get cold feet? (-1 point)
c. don’t know if they ever want to get married? (-1 point)
When a guy you like wants to get closer:
a. do you say “Come here, Baby!” (0 points)
b. does he become less attractive? (-1 point)
c. do you get nervous? (-1 point)
When you think about sharing your life with someone, do you:
a. feel elated! (0 points)
b. secretly wonder if you’ll have to give up important parts of your single life? (-1 point)
c. worry you might lose yourself? (-1 point)
If you scored -1 to -3, points, you may have Mixed Feelings about Finding Love. If you scored -4 to -6 points, you may have a Fear of Finding Love. If you scored 0 points you could be Ready for Love!
If you have Mixed Feelings or if you have a Fear of Finding Love, this is not a life sentence. It just means at some level, you may have a fear of intimacy. Part of you really wants love. But, another part of you is afraid you won’t get what you really need in a relationship.
Sometimes it means you’re afraid of getting hurt. Sometimes it means you’re afraid of getting close and then losing him. Sometimes, it’s a little of both. And now that you know you’re not quite ready for love, you can do something about it.
* This quiz is intended to be informative. However, it is not a valid psychological assessment tool.Dr. Vonda ("Vondie") Lozano is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She offers counseling, hypnosis and free workshops to help you have the life and love you really want. She's been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio.
Vondie's been in L.A. for 20 years and now she's in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard. Ventura is also accessible from Santa Barbara, Moorpark, Simi Valley, Thousand Oaks, Agoura Hills and Westlake Village.